The Inspiring (true!) Story behind Broken is the NEW Fixed!

I once worked at Generic Corp. where we did warehousing. Having several warehouses across North America, one day I found myself transferred to the armpit of the company because of a merger. It was this place where I learned that Broken is the NEW Fixed.

Take for instance the main bathroom. The pull-down cloth towel dispenser (you know, the blue ones) did not work properly. Every time you pulled on it for more towel, it would just gather on the floor and not gather inside the box like it’s supposed to. The toilet paper dispenser, one of those large industrial size ones that hold two wheel-size rolls, had confinement issues as it would never close and the front piece would just swing there - and not do its job of actually holding the toilet paper in. So the toilet paper roll was often found on the floor or standing precariously on top of the holder. The handle on the toilet would remain in the down position - making the water continuously run if you didn’t pull the handle back down (can you guess how many times people bothered with it? I mean hey, these are the type of people who allowed for this stuff to go on). The handle was also cracked and just waiting for the next flush to fall off. And of course the lid to the back of the toilet tank was missing. Yes that’s right. Missing. Why not? Where did it go? Who needed it that badly? And how the hell did they smuggle it out of the building?

So being a newbie to this location I figured Maintenance was fully aware of it and was working on it (maybe parts were on order - I know, I am so naïve). So I waited to see what would happen. A month went by, a second, a third. Nothing changed. Clearly everybody knew about it - its just that nobody cared. I should point out that at Generic Corp. we had been striving for a very lean environment with very specific processes and procedures in place.

One day I finally had enough. That day was 8 MONTHS AFTER I HAD BEEN THERE. That's right. Eight. 8. The number before 9. Months. I finally brought it up in a meeting. And honestly it didn’t take long to fix.

Well, ‘fix’ is such a strong word. Repaired? Mmm, no, that’s not it either. Mend? Closer.

In the vein of Broken is the New Fixed, here is how it was…um…corrected. The Maintenance department (non-unionized, no really, they were!) had a look at the cloth towel dispenser. The first thing he did was roll up the cloth, close the lid and test it. It came out just fine. What was the problem? It worked for him. I should point out it was made quite clear that you have to keep pulling on it and you will see that it doesn’t gather.

Next was the toilet paper dispenser. Wait, wait. I should mention that Maintenance was told to REPLACE the entire unit. It was absolutely clear and in triplicate. So instead, Maintenance MacGuyer’d it. The reason why the front wouldn’t close was because the clasp was broken. So using some wire he made it so it would close and all people had to do was push down on this wire and it would pop open. That’s a lot to expect from people who can’t be bothered to pull the toilet handle back up. And you can guess how long this fix-it lasted for. The heroically optimistic wire disappeared days later and was never seen again.

As for the handle not going down and the water running for hours on end, it was determined that the chain inside was too long. Again, it was made quite clear to replace the handle as it was cracked. Yes, you assume correctly, the handle didn’t last long either.

As for the missing lid, well wouldn’t you know it, Maintenance had an extra one. An extra one that looked like it was the first piece of ceramic ever created. Why did they have an extra one? Why was it so old? Who knows? WHO KNOWS??? No really, do you know? I would like to know. Was it the original one? Bah! That just leads to more questions.

But wait, that is not the kicker! Here is the kicker: The toilet bowl lid was placed upside down on the toilet. I’ll wait a few seconds to let that sink in (you’re going to need it for this next bit). Ready? Written across the lid (remember it is upside down), in black grease pencil is this:

LEAVE THIS LID UPSIDE DOWN TO PREVENT HANDLE FROM STICKING

It’s okay, medical help is on the way. The loss of breath you are experiencing is normal. Please stand by.

I didn’t wait 8 months to bring all this issues up again. As it turns out Generic Corp. has a company come in to change all the mats and paper towels in the facility. They were more than happy to provide a new towel holder at no extra charge. They replaced the toilet paper holder too.

Broken is the NEW Fixed!