Good Grief!

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It's A Dogs Life

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People. They astonish me at every turn. Take for instance my neighbors who occupy a huge lot. In fact, here is a picture of their shit place: I mean, what is all that junk? Look at that shed! Those decrepit trailers. Click on the image for the full size (it's worth it). Anyway.... Last year they had 2 dogs, one a quiet mutt and the other, some kind of Terrier: I cannot stress how yappy this creature was. It would yap at you when you walked outside. It would yap at you when you came home from work. It would yap at passing cars, at passing trains, at passing Robins. It would yap at its own yap . My wonderful neighbors took it all in stride. They kept these 2 dogs in their outside dog cage ALL THE TIME. It yapped so much, I began forming an image of this beast in my mind. It looked something like this: Even the owners were annoyed at the barking. They would, in fact, yap at their own dog to SHUT UP! Their own voice drowning out the pup. Cut to neighbor's door closi...
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Jar Jar Binks or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Politician

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The prequels are about many things, t he most important of which is politics. It is a study on how governments become corrupt and how freedoms are quickly and easily stripped away in the name of ‘security’. It is easy to ignore that there are actual points deliberately written into these movies amongst all the Lucas-haters and prequel-bashing that goes on. Lucas works in a symbolic world. Consider the amount of duality in the prequels – Anakin to Vader, Obi-Wan taking on his dead master’s roll (who up until his death he disagreed with) and he does so by picking up Qui Gon’s lightsaber and cutting down Darth Maul; Padme the handmaiden to Amadala the Queen, Chancellor Palpatine to Sidious, and so on). Admittedly it is a hard world to navigate through. This brings me to Jar Jar Binks. Personally I prefer him over Ewoks, but I am of the minority in this. Jar Jar – the bumbling, careless, brainless ( “I spake!” ), clumsy, and clearly full of tremendous luck (God loves t...
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Steven Seagal: Melodrama-man (or the Show Where Nothing Happens)

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Airing on A&E, Steven Seagal: Lawman is a comedy of the highest form. Excuse me for a sec…(puts down pen) Are you sure? Okay sorry about that. It would seem that Lawman is NOT a comedy but a reality show. This ‘reality’ show (read: fake) follows Seagal and his work with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office in New Orleans. He’s been at it for about fifteen years now. The show is supposed to be COPS. COPS it ain’t. It actually comes across more like CHIPS. The show is simply unbelievable and yet riveting in its crappiness. Seagal runs around the show (and the viewer gets the impression from the other cops that Seagal’s deputization has worn out its welcome), trying to push the drama into something exciting. The action isn’t all that exciting to begin with, so the added push (read: desperate invention) makes this show the best feel-good comedy of the year. Here are just a few examples of his talent: 1) After being called to a house where some lowlife has apparently broke...
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