Dances With Avatar

Avatar is the worst piece of shit. James Cameron now replaces Joel Schumacher and Adolf Hitler as History's greatest monster.

I was going to start off by providing a Spoiler Alert Warning - however, there is nothing to spoil here. Even though I will be giving away major plot points, you won’t be let down when you see the movie. Trust me.

Seriously, it looks beautiful and the acting is superb. But Jaysus, there is no originality to the story at all. Basically it is the story of fucking Pocahontas meets Dances with Wolves. The whole debacle was one predictable thing after another. And it took 15 years to write?

Oh look, the human dude, who has just uploaded himself into this blue alien, meets this 'savage' who happens to be female.

And of course they hate each other.
And of course they fall in love.
And of course she was already betrothed to one of her own.
And of course the human dude, now in alien form, has been sent to gather information.
And of course she’s angry when she finds out.
And of course he explains that although it started out that way, he has changed.
And of course he now loves her and her people.

And of course the only way to beat the dumb old humans is to simply put up a bigger fight. And use some of their guns. Because as you know, the only way to settle something is to pull out a gun.

And of course the human-dude-in-an-alien-body earns the respect of the hunter the alien chick was betrothed to.

And of course, once they win, they send the dumb old humans back across the galaxy, presumably back to earth. Where of course, they won't return with fucking nukes and just wipe them all away.

And of course there's a scene in there where this skyscraper type tree (where the blue aliens live) is blown to bits and it falls - almost identical to the Titanic.

And of course our hero, who wasn't a hero to begin with, is the messiah of these aliens, and of course he prays to their female God and who of course the female God answers their prayers and helps defeat the bad old humans.

And of course this deity loves all and loves nature, and the only way to live a good life is to love all things, but this deity has no problem tearing the fuck out of the marines.

And of course it takes a white man to save the alien race, the alien race couldn’t possibly save themselves.

And of course the theme song is a complete rip-off to Celine Dion.

You know, everyone gives the Special Effects guys all these praises (and rightly so) for how they can somehow bring acting to completely computer generated characters. Believe me, the blue aliens in this movie are awesome, they are completely believable. The SFX guys are called true artists, because they can move the audience so well. I think it is time these Special Effects artists took over the writing of stories to. They are the only ones who seem to care about how well things turn out.

Jimmy-boy, I want my money back.