I'd Like To Buy A Vowel

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Jar Jar Binks or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Politician

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The prequels are about many things, t he most important of which is politics. It is a study on how governments become corrupt and how freedoms are quickly and easily stripped away in the name of ‘security’. It is easy to ignore that there are actual points deliberately written into these movies amongst all the Lucas-haters and prequel-bashing that goes on. Lucas works in a symbolic world. Consider the amount of duality in the prequels – Anakin to Vader, Obi-Wan taking on his dead master’s roll (who up until his death he disagreed with) and he does so by picking up Qui Gon’s lightsaber and cutting down Darth Maul; Padme the handmaiden to Amadala the Queen, Chancellor Palpatine to Sidious, and so on). Admittedly it is a hard world to navigate through. This brings me to Jar Jar Binks. Personally I prefer him over Ewoks, but I am of the minority in this. Jar Jar – the bumbling, careless, brainless ( “I spake!” ), clumsy, and clearly full of tremendous luck (God loves t...
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Wheat Chaff (a short story)

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Mankind is dying. Unless an answer can be found for this bipedal species, extinction is certain. Some would say (the Earth included) good riddance. But only some. The rest probably wouldn’t notice, or even have an opinion on the matter. Be that as it may, mankind is unwilling to relinquish their dictatorship on the world and because of this have found themselves on the brink, working feverishly at coming up with The Answer. For you see, extinction was not looming due to pollution (although there was plenty of har mful stuff laying about); not because of a meteor of mass-extinction proportions was barreling down on us (we should be so lucky) and certainly not because of alien overlords (because really if that were to actually happen we would end up like those ant farms you see. Every kid wants one, and when they get it they simply forget about it after a week and half. Some would argue we have already been taken over and forgotten by alien overlords....
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Safety is First at Generic Corp.!

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Location: Generic Corp. Issue: Fire Safety. “There is no substitute for Safety!” barks many posters around the workplace. I am here to tell you there is a substitute. It is called Broken is the NEW Fixed! During several audits at Generic Corp. it was determined that the company was sorely lacking in some fundamental fire safety areas. Let us begin with an email (the first of many) dated September 18, 2009. This email made it clear to the Safety and Maintenance teams that a fire extinguisher had been used and needed recharging by our external fire protection service, a company called Blazing Safety (or B.S. for short). The next email, on 9/29/09 stated that the extinguisher had not been recharged as of yet. In this same email, it mentions a second serious issue (some of the 20 plus extinguishers were missing their monthly certification tags). By law extinguishers are to be inspected monthly internally and initialled each month as evidence. Once a year an external company is to ...
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